{"id":569,"date":"2014-10-31T00:00:57","date_gmt":"2014-10-31T07:00:57","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/?p=569"},"modified":"2014-12-17T06:43:36","modified_gmt":"2014-12-17T14:43:36","slug":"vowels-are-everywhere","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/?p=569","title":{"rendered":"Extreeeeeeeme Phonemes of Shel Silverstein"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\n
\n

Yes, I invented “trick or treat” s<\/span>o you could fill your mouth with sweets \u2013<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Candy bars and lemon drops, m<\/span>arshmallows and Tootsie Pops,<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Butterscotch and bubble gum. \u00a0<\/span>Hold out your hand \u2013 they’ll give you some<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Chocolate kisses, Jujubes, s<\/span>our balls and jelly beans,<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Have a cake \u2013 some cookies, too. \u00a0<\/span>Take a couple \u2013 grab a few<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Peppermint sticks and Mary Janes, l<\/span>icorice ropes and candy canes.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Slurp some soda, munch a pie, d<\/span>on’t let those M&M’s go by,<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Chew that toffee, munch those treats, l<\/span>et that carmel spoil your teeth.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Then come see me, I’ll be here \u2013\u00a0<\/span>I’m your friendly dentist<\/i>, dear.<\/p>\n

{The One Who Invented Trick or Treat – p. 13}<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V01\/a\/ candy<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V02\/i\/ trick<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V03\/o\/ chocolate<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V04\/u\/ bubble gum<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V05\/e\/ jelly bean(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V06\/a_e\/ cake<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V07\/I\/ I’m (I am)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V08\/o_e\/ rope(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V09\/u\/ Jujubes<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V10\/ea\/ treat<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V11\/a\/ bar(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V12\/oo\/ Tootsie<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V13\/ou\/ mouth<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V14\/oi\/ spoil<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n

V15\/ur\/ slurp<\/span><\/p>\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n

“I’m so hungry I could eat a horse,”<\/p>\n

Said Polly in the park.<\/p>\n

Ol’ Dobbin, grazin’ nearby,<\/p>\n

Overheard her rude remark.<\/p>\n

He shook his mane and pawed the ground,<\/p>\n

He raised his noble head,<\/p>\n

He snorted and looked down at her,<\/p>\n

And this is what he said:<\/p>\n

“I’ve been ridden, I’ve been driven,<\/p>\n

I’ve been raced around a track,<\/p>\n

I’ve been photographed with little<\/p>\n

Whiny kiddies on my back.<\/p>\n

I’ve pulled wagons through the winter,<\/p>\n

I’ve pulled sleighs and I’ve pulled sleds.<\/p>\n

I’ve pulled plows in sticky summers<\/p>\n

With flies buzzin’ ’round my head.<\/p>\n

I’ve been whipped and I’ve been beaten,<\/p>\n

I’ve been called a such-and-such \u2013<\/p>\n

But to think of being eaten,<\/p>\n

Well, boy, that is to much!<\/p>\n

And when I get insulted,<\/p>\n

My appetite runs wild,<\/p>\n

And now I fell so hungry that…<\/p>\n

I could eat a child<\/i>.”<\/p>\n

{How Hungry Is Polly?}<\/p>\n

V01\/a\/ appetite<\/p>\n

V02\/i\/ kid> kid(d)(ie)(s)<\/p>\n

V03\/o\/ Polly<\/p>\n

V04\/u\/ hungry<\/p>\n

V05\/ea\/ head<\/p>\n

V06\/a_e\/ mane<\/p>\n

V07\/i\/ child<\/p>\n

V08\/o_e\/ horse<\/p>\n

V09\/u_e\/ rude<\/p>\n

V10\/ea\/ beat(en)<\/p>\n

V11\/aw\/ paw(ed)<\/p>\n

V12\/u\/ pull(ed)<\/p>\n

V13\/ou\/ ground<\/p>\n

V14\/oy\/ boy<\/p>\n

V15\/er\/ her<\/p>\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n

Nothing to do?<\/p>\n

Nothing to do?\u00a0Pour some ketchup in your shoe.<\/p>\n

Go to the TV and give it a kick.\u00a0Scream\u00a0or hollar \u2013 take your pick.<\/p>\n

Bang a drum and clang some bells. \u00a0Pinch the baby till he yells.<\/p>\n

Take a poop; forget to wipe. \u00a0Find mom’s computer and try to type.<\/p>\n

Twirl around until you fall. \u00a0Draw a picture on the wall.<\/p>\n

Turn the laundry inside-out. \u00a0Sing a song, then loudly shout.<\/p>\n

Put some marbles on the stair. \u00a0Glue some stuff in Sister’s hair.<\/p>\n

Dig some dirt, pack it firm, then plop in on a garden worm.<\/p>\n

Suck your thumb and slam the doors. \u00a0Pull out all the dresser drawers.<\/p>\n

Bask in the sun. \u00a0Get nice-n-hot. \u00a0Find the shade to cool a lot.<\/p>\n

Catch the cat and bite his ear. \u00a0Soak your toes in Uncle’s beer.<\/p>\n

Eat some crackers, spill some crumbs, get them up with chewing gum.<\/p>\n

Fill your pockets full of soot. \u00a0Paint the bottom of your foot.<\/p>\n

Take your grandpa’s watch and boil it. \u00a0Throw the car keys down the toilet.<\/p>\n

Wet your pants in Daddy’s lap, now go upstairs and take your nap!<\/p>\n

{For a Rainy Afternoon, adaptation – p. 175}<\/p>\n

V01 – lap, nap<\/p>\n

V02 – kick, pick<\/p>\n

V03 – hot, lot<\/p>\n

V04 – crumbs, gum<\/p>\n

V05 – bells, yells<\/p>\n

V06 – stair, hair<\/p>\n

V07 – wipe, type<\/p>\n

V08 – doors, drawers<\/p>\n

V09 – do, shoe<\/p>\n

V10 – ear, beer<\/p>\n

V11 – fall, wall<\/p>\n

V12 – soot, foot<\/p>\n

V13 – inside-out, shout<\/p>\n

V14 – boil it, toilet<\/p>\n

V15 – firm, worm<\/p>\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Transparent Timmy \u2013<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Maybe you knew him,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Everybody could<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

See right through him.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

We saw his heart<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Beatin’ in there.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

We saw his lungs<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Breathin’ air.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

We saw his kidneys,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

We saw his liver,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

We saw his bones<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

And nerves aquiver.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

We saw what he opted<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

For lunch today.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

We saw the coin<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

He swallowed last May.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

But when we found<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Why his stomach hurt,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

We sent Tim<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

To put on his shirt.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

{Transparent Tim – p. 33}<\/span><\/p>\n

Use Shell’s illustration, minus the cat, so<\/span>\u00a0kids can sketch their own answer.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V01\/a\/ last<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V02\/i\/ kidney(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V03\/o\/ opt(ed)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V04u\/ lung(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V05\/e\/ sent<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V06\/ai\/ air<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V07\/igh\/ right<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V08\/o_e\/ bone(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V09\/ough\/ through<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V10\/ea\/ beat(ing)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V11\/ea\/ heart<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V12\/u\/ put<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V13\/ou\/ found<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V14\/oi\/ coin<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

V15\/er_e\/ nerve(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n

The Police Department<\/span><\/p>\n

Changed their garments<\/span><\/p>\n

And became the Please<\/i>\u00a0Department,<\/span><\/p>\n

And instead of clubs and cuffs,<\/span><\/p>\n

Saying Please was quite enough.<\/span><\/p>\n

    \n
  • “Please stop breaking down that door.”<\/span><\/li>\n
  • “Please stop robbing that jewelry store.”<\/span><\/li>\n
  • “Please stop smashing that computer.”<\/span><\/li>\n
  • “Please stop stealing that motor scooter.”<\/span><\/li>\n
  • “Please stop shooting off that gun.”<\/span><\/li>\n
  • “Please stop forging checks for fun.”<\/span><\/li>\n
  • “Please stop ripping off those tires.”<\/span><\/li>\n
  • “Please stop setting thing on fire.”<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n

    And if they needed more persuasion,<\/span><\/p>\n

    They took ’em down to the Please Station<\/span><\/p>\n

    Where the friendly Chief of Please<\/span><\/p>\n

    Said Please, Please, Please<\/span><\/p>\n

    On bended knees.<\/span><\/p>\n

    And they stopped all crime with ease<\/span><\/p>\n

    By politely saying “Please.”<\/span><\/p>\n

    So the next time that you’re feelin’ blue<\/span><\/p>\n

    ‘Cause someone points a gun at you<\/span><\/p>\n

    While they’re robbin’ your apartment,<\/span><\/p>\n

    Just call your friendly Please Department.<\/span><\/p>\n

    {Call the Please – p. 133}<\/p>\n

    V01\/a\/ smash(ing)<\/span><\/p>\n

    V02\/i\/ rip(p)(ing)<\/span><\/p>\n

    V03\/o\/ rob(b)(ing)<\/span><\/p>\n

    V04\/u\/ club(s) and cuff(s)<\/span><\/p>\n

    V05\/ie\/ friend(ly)<\/span><\/p>\n

    V06\/a\/ station<\/span><\/p>\n

    V07\/i_e\/ quite<\/span><\/p>\n

    V08\/o\/ police<\/span><\/p>\n

    V09\/ew\/ jewelry<\/span><\/p>\n

    V10\/ea_e\/ please<\/span><\/p>\n

    V11\/a\/ apartment<\/span><\/p>\n

    V12\/oo\/ took<\/span><\/p>\n

    V13\/ow\/ down<\/span><\/p>\n

    V14\/oi\/ point(s)<\/span><\/p>\n

    V15\/er\/ persuasion<\/span><\/p>\n

    \u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n

    I don’t know how\u00a0any<\/em>thing’s done.<\/p>\n

    Does the earth turn or is it the sun?<\/p>\n

    Is electricity made by a kit?<\/p>\n

    Are star twinkles just the reflection of light?<\/p>\n

    How thunder is made and how engines run \u2013<\/p>\n

    I don’t know how\u00a0any<\/em>thing’s done.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    I don’t know where\u00a0any<\/em>place is.<\/p>\n

    Is Baltimore next to Cadiz?<\/p>\n

    Is Maui in North or in South Carolina?<\/p>\n

    Do you pass Duluth on the highway to China?<\/p>\n

    I sure hope we have an open-book quiz<\/p>\n

    ‘Cause I don’t know where\u00a0any<\/em>place is.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    I don’t know how\u00a0any<\/em>thing’s spelled.<\/p>\n

    Does lovely have three or four L’s?<\/p>\n

    Don’t you spell ewe with a Y or a U?<\/p>\n

    It’s time for exams and I’m not feeling well,<\/p>\n

    ‘Cause I don’t know how\u00a0any<\/em>thing’s spelled.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    I don’t know who\u00a0any<\/em>one was.<\/p>\n

    Was Charlemagne King Arthur’s cuz?<\/p>\n

    Was Abraham Lincoln the prince of Tibet?<\/p>\n

    Was Duke of Troy Queen Isabel’s pet?<\/p>\n

    I sure hope they don’t ask questions, because<\/p>\n

    I don’t know who\u00a0any<\/em>one was.<\/p>\n

    {I Don’t Know – p. 176}<\/p>\n

    V01\/a\/ ask<\/p>\n

    V02\/i\/ twinkle(s)<\/p>\n

    V03\/o\/ not<\/p>\n

    V04\/o_e\/ done<\/p>\n

    V05\/a\/ anything, anyplace, anyone<\/p>\n

    V06\/a\/ Abraham<\/p>\n

    V07\/i_e\/ kite<\/p>\n

    V08\/ow\/ know<\/p>\n

    V09\/u_e\/ Duke<\/p>\n

    C39+V09\/ewe\/ ewe<\/p>\n

    V10\/e\/ because<\/p>\n

    V11\/a\/ Arthur’s<\/p>\n

    V12\/oo\/ book<\/p>\n

    V13\/ou\/ South<\/p>\n

    V14\/oy\/ Troy<\/p>\n

    V15\/ear\/ earth<\/p>\n

    \u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    There was a funky donkey and a spunky monkey.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    They were sittin’ by the railroad track.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Said the funky donkey to the spunky monkey,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    “I’m goin’ off to somewhere and I won’t be back.”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Said the spunky monkey to the funky donkey,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    “If you wait for a minute or two,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    I’ll go say good-bye to the frivolous fly,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And I’ll come along with you.”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Said the spunky monkey to the funky donkey,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    “This road looks long and wide,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    So if you’ll just pick me up and carry me awhile,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    I’d sure be much obliged.”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Said the funky donkey to the spunky monkey,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    “I was gonna ask the same of you.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    So we’d better just wait till we get it straight<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    As to who’s gonna carry who.”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Now the funky donkey, he ain’t goin’ nowhere<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    ‘Less somebody carries him,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And the spunky monkey won’t carry no donkey,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    So their future is awfully dim.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And they’re still sittin’ back by that railroad track,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    They’ll loiter till the moon turns blue,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    But they ain’t gonna ride, ’cause they just can’t decide<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    As to who’s gonna carry who.<\/span><\/p>\n

    {Stubbornness – p. 44}<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V01\/a\/ ask<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V02\/i\/ dim<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V03\/o\/ donkey<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V04\/o\/ monkey<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V05\/a\/ carry<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V06\/ai\/ wait<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V07\/y\/ fly<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V08\/oa\/ road<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V09\/o\/ who’s (who is)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V10\/e\/ we’d (we had)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V11\/awe\/ awe > aw(-)ful(ly)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V12oo\/ good-bye<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V13\/ow\/ now<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V14\/oi\/ loiter<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V15\/ur\/ turn(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    \u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n

    Spaghetti has so many uses,<\/p>\n

    It can be used for whips or nooses,<\/p>\n

    It makes great backstraps for papooses,<\/p>\n

    Or leashes, when you’re walking gooses.<\/p>\n

    It makes a perfect slingshot sling,<\/p>\n

    It makes a great cat’s cradle string,<\/p>\n

    A jumpin’ rope, a scooter tire,<\/p>\n

    A bouncy acrobatic wire,<\/p>\n

    A boxing ring, where you can spar,<\/p>\n

    Six twangy strings for your guitar.<\/p>\n

    And though it’s droopy, warm, an wet,<\/p>\n

    It makes a lovely tennis net.<\/p>\n

    And as suspenders it’s just fine<\/p>\n

    For holdin’ pant up (yours, not\u00a0mine<\/em>).<\/p>\n

    A string to fly your red balloon,<\/p>\n

    A wall hook for your telephoon,<\/p>\n

    Hair ribbons, neckties, or boot laces,<\/p>\n

    Reindeer reins for reindeer races,<\/p>\n

    A wig to fit a silly queen,<\/p>\n

    A curly beard for Halloween.<\/p>\n

    And it can make a coiled lasso.<\/p>\n

    In fact, there’s nothin’ it\u00a0can’t<\/em> do.<\/p>\n

    Oh \u2013 and you can eat it too.<\/p>\n

    {Twenty-eight Uses for Spaghetti}<\/p>\n

    V01\/a\/ backstrap(s)<\/p>\n

    V02\/ui\/ guitar<\/p>\n

    V03\/o\/ box(ing)<\/p>\n

    V04\/u\/ suspend(er)(s)<\/p>\n

    V05\/e\/ necktie(s)<\/p>\n

    V06\/ei\/ rein(s)<\/p>\n

    V07\/i_e\/ wire<\/p>\n

    V08\/o_e\/ rope<\/p>\n

    V09\/oo_e\/ noose > noos(-)(es)<\/p>\n

    V10\/ea\/ leash(es)<\/p>\n

    V11\/a\/ Halloween<\/p>\n

    V12\/oo\/ hook<\/p>\n

    V13\/ou_e\/ bounce > bounc(-)(y)<\/p>\n

    V14\/oi\/ coil(ed)<\/p>\n

    V15\/ur\/ curl(y)<\/p>\n

    \u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n

    I was settin’ at this restaurant<\/p>\n

    When the waiter came up and said, “What do you want?”<\/p>\n

    I looked at the menu \u2013 it looked so nice<\/p>\n

    Till he said, “Let me give you a little advice.”<\/p>\n

    He said, “Spaghetti and potatoes got too much starch,<\/p>\n

    Pork chops and sausage are bad for your heart.<\/p>\n

    There’s hormones in chicken and beef and veal,<\/p>\n

    Bowl of ravioli is a dead man’s meal.<\/p>\n

    Bread’s got preservatives, there’s nitrites in ham,<\/p>\n

    Artificial coloring in jellies and jam.<\/p>\n

    Stay away from doughnuts, run away form pie,<\/p>\n

    Pepperoni pizza is a sure way to die.<\/p>\n

    Sugar’s gonna rot your teeth and make you put on weight.<\/p>\n

    Eggs are high cholesterol, too much fat in cheese,<\/p>\n

    Coffee ruins your kidneys and so to teas.<\/p>\n

    Fish got too much mercury, red meat is poison,<\/p>\n

    Hot dogs and bologna got deadly red dyes,<\/p>\n

    Vegetables and fruits are sprayed with pesticides.”<\/p>\n

    So I said, “What can I eat that’s gonna make me last?”<\/p>\n

    He said, “A small drink of water in a sterilized glass.”<\/p>\n

    And then he stopped and he thought for a minute,<\/p>\n

    And said, “Never mind the water \u2013 there’s carcinogens in it.”<\/p>\n

    So I got up from the table and walked out in the street,<\/p>\n

    Realizin’ there was absolutely\u00a0nothing<\/em> I could eat.<\/p>\n

    So I haven’t eaten for a month and I don’t feel too fine,<\/p>\n

    But I know that I’ll be healthy for a long, long time.<\/p>\n

    {Food? – p. 166}<\/p>\n

    V01\/a\/ fat<\/p>\n

    V02\/i\/ kidney(s)<\/p>\n

    V03\/o\/ rot<\/p>\n

    V04\/oo\/ blood<\/p>\n

    V05\/e\/ pesticide(s)<\/p>\n

    V06\/eigh\/ weight<\/p>\n

    V07\/i\/ nitrite(s)<\/p>\n

    V08\/o\/ hormone(s)<\/p>\n

    V09\/u\/ ruin(s)<\/p>\n

    V10\/e\/ preservative(s)<\/p>\n

    V11\/a\/ carcinogen(s)<\/p>\n

    V12\/u\/ put<\/p>\n

    V13\/ou\/ out<\/p>\n

    V14\/oi\/ poison<\/p>\n

    V15 \/er\/ mercury<\/p>\n

    \u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    The elephant played second base,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And the laughing hyena played third.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    The two little leeches sat out in the bleachers,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Quite shocked by the language they heard.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    The kangaroo leapt and the crocodile wept<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Because they would not let him play.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And the ring-tailed rat, he kept swinging the bat<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Till the poor bat flew up and away.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    The oyster was fit with a fielder’s mitt,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    But couldn’t catch a fly at all,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    As the octopus pitched and the hen sat and twitched<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And tried to hatch the ball.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    The porcupine umped and the kangaroo jumped<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    As the snail was out stealing third<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    On a throw from the snake just in time to awake<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    The sleeping Palatapus bird.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    The trout, he struck out, but the yak took a whack<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And hit one out into the lake.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    A homer… <\/i>it’s gone… \u00a0 No, the pelican yawned<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And swallowed the ball my mistake.<\/span><\/p>\n

    {The Ball Game – p. 47}<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V01\/au\/ laugh(ing)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V02\/i\/ mitt<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V03\/o\/ shock(ed)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V04\/u\/ ump(ed)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V05\/e\/ elephant<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V06\/a_e\/ game<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V07\/y\/ hyena<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V08\/o\/ porcupine<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V09\/ew\/ flew<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V10\/ee\/ leech(es)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V11\/aw\/ yawn(ed)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V12\/ou\/ would<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V13\/ou\/ trout<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V14\/oy\/ oyster<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V15\/ear\/ heard<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    \u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    I asked for a hot dog<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    With everything<\/i>\u00a0on it,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And that was my huge mistake,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    ‘Cause if came with a parrot,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    A bee in a bonnet,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    A gold coin, a book, and a rake.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    It came with a goldfish,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    A ball and a fiddle,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And dirty old front porch swing,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And a mouse in a mask \u2013<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    That’s the last time I ask<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    For a hot dog with e \u2022 ver \u2022 y \u2022 thing.<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    { Every Thing On It – p. 10}<\/p>\n

    V01\/a\/ ask(ed)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V02\/i\/ fiddle<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V03\/o\/ bonnet<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V04\/a\/ was<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V05\/e\/ everything<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V06\/a_e\/ rake<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V07\/i_e\/ time<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V08\/o\/ goldfish<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    C39+V09\/u_e\/ huge<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V10\/ee\/ bee<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V11\/a\/ ball<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V12\/oo\/ book<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V13\/ou_e\/ mouse<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V14\/oi\/ coin<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V15\/ir\/ dirt(y)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    \u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    You’ve spilt your milk.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Oily pasta’s on your chair.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    There’s tapioca in your nose<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And broccoli in your hair.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Applesauce is on every wall!<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Look, nothing’s on your spoon!<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    I’m thinking now perhaps you tried to<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Feed yourself too soon.<\/span><\/p>\n

    {Too Soon – p. 15}<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V01\/a\/ tapioca<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V02\/i\/ milk<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V03\/o\/ broccoli<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V04\/u\/ dump(ed)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V05\/e\/ every<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V06\/ai\/ chair<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V07\/y\/ try > tr(-)(ied)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V08\/o_e\/ nose<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V09\/oo\/ spoon<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V10\/ee\/ feed<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V11\/a\/ pasta<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V12\/oo\/ look<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V13\/ow\/ now<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V14\/oi\/ oily<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V15\/er\/ perhaps<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    \u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Those scratchy marks there on the wall, t<\/span>hey rise until they get this tall.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    They show how short I used to be, a<\/span>nd Mama keeps reminding me<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    The way my dad would really dread t<\/span>o place a ruler on my head<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    as I stood there. \u00a0He first hesitates,\u00a0<\/span>then marks a spot to void past dates.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    She says it’s OUR<\/strong>\u00a0proud history. \u00a0<\/span>She laughs and smiles with glee to see<\/p>\n

    Those scratchy marks upon the wall. \u00a0(<\/span>I don’t yet understand at all!)<\/p>\n

    {Wall Marks – p. 27}<\/p>\n

    Note from Jz: \u00a0Shel Silverstein’s original poem has the child watching the mother cry, realizing inevitable physical growth\/maturity, and with both parents apparently suffering from the recognition that they are being outgrown. \u00a0My version flips those dynamics. \u00a0Our children are not really “ours” and never were. \u00a0Although the mother’s beloved child<\/span> may indeed WANT the parent(s) to exist exclusively to be “wind beneath wings” (read Shel’s\u00a0THE GIVING TREE<\/span>), although the child<\/span> may indeed\u00a0WANT continuing offerings of unconditional support for every real or imagined need (as appropriately provided to a helpless infant or toddler), my poem has the mother willingly, purposefully cutting the umbilicus. \u00a0My poem portrays a joyfully smiling mother, thinking about the promise of continuing emancipation and emotional maturity. \u00a0Why not?! \u00a0Why would any person\u00a0in any way<\/span> be willing to eviscerate another soul’s god-given initiative for independence?<\/em><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V01\/a\/ dad<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V02\/i\/ history<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V03\/o\/ spot<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V04\/u\/ understand<\/span><\/p>\n

    V05\/e\/ yet<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V05\/ea\/ head<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V06\/a_e\/ place<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V07\/i_e\/ smile(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V08\/o\/ short, don’t (do not)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V09\/u\/ rule(r)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V10\/ee\/ keep(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V11\/a\/ mark(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V12\/oo\/ stood<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V13\/ou\/ proud<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V14\/oi\/ void<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V15\/ir\/ first<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    \u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    I used to be Santa’s helper,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    But I got fired tonight.<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Just ’cause I broke the music box<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    By hooking the spring too tight,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Just ’cause I tried all the fancy cupcakes<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And licked all the candy canes,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Just ’cause I dropped those porcelain dolls<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Down from the Tinker Toy crane,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Just ’cause I drove the ‘lectric train<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    So fast it jumped the rails,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And wiped that purple finger paint<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    All over the sailboat sails,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    And just ’cause I squeezed<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    The little stuffed dog<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Till he gave a little stuffed yelp,<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Santa had the nerve to say<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    I wasn’t too much help.<\/span><\/p>\n

    {Santa’s Helper – p. 29}<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V01\/a\/ Santa<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V02\/i\/ finger<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V03\/o\/ doll(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V04\/u\/ cupcake(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V05\/e\/ yelp<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V06\/a_e\/ cane(s)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V07\/i_e\/ fire(d)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V08\/o\/ porcelain<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    C39+V09\/u\/ music<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V10\/ee_e\/ squeeze(d)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V11\/a\/ all<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V12\/oo\/ hook(ing)<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V13\/ow\/ down<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V14\/oy\/ toy<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    V15\/er_e\/ nerve<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    \u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n

    Although I cannot tell your face<\/p>\n

    If you enjoy tehse poems awhile,<\/p>\n

    Somewhere from some far-off place<\/p>\n

    I see you looking \u2013 and I smile<\/p>\n

    {Years From Now, adaptation – p. 9}<\/p>\n

    V01\/a\/ cannot<\/p>\n

    V02\/i\/ if<\/p>\n

    V03\/o\/ off<\/p>\n

    V04\/o\/ from<\/p>\n

    V05\/e\/ tell<\/p>\n

    V06\/a_e\/ face<\/p>\n

    V07\/i_e\/ smile<\/p>\n

    V08\/o\/ poem(s)<\/p>\n

    V09\/ou\/ you<\/p>\n

    V10\/ea\/ year(s)<\/p>\n

    V11\/a\/ although<\/p>\n

    V12\/oo\/ look(ing)<\/p>\n

    V13\/ow\/ now<\/p>\n

    V14\/oy\/ enjoy<\/span><\/p>\n

    V15\/our\/ your<\/p>\n

    \u2022 \u2022 \u2022<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Joe: \u00a0“Happy New Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Animals: \u00a0“Happy Zoo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n

    Panda: \u00a0“Happy Bamboo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Candymaker: \u00a0“Happy Jujube Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Fashionista: \u00a0“Happy Foo Foo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n

    Dancer: \u00a0“Happy Ballyhoo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Traveler: \u00a0“Happy Adieu Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Sick kid: \u00a0“Happy Ah-choo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Kittens: \u00a0“Happy Mew Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Critters: \u00a0“Happy Loo-Loo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Philosopher: \u00a0“Happy Worldview Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Mystic: \u00a0“Happy Woo Woo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Dog: \u00a0“Happy Poo-Poo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Doctor: \u00a0“Happy Flu Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Clockman: \u00a0“Happy Cuckoo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Gossip: \u00a0“Happy Who’s Who Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Scholar: \u00a0“Happy Peer Review Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Skunk: \u00a0“Happy Pee-Yoo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Hungry: \u00a0“Happy Chew-Chew Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Lovers: \u00a0“Happy Deja Vu Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Terrorist: \u00a0“Happy Voo Voo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Chef: \u00a0“Happy Cordon Bleu Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Legislators: \u00a0“Happy Judicial Review Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Therapist: \u00a0“Happy Break-through Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Baby: \u00a0“Happy Goo-Goo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Trainman: \u00a0“Happy Choo-Choo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Painter: \u00a0“Happy Blue Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n

    Makeup artist: \u00a0“Happy Redo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Barefoot man: \u00a0“Happy Shoe Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Child: \u00a0“Happy Scissors-n-Glue Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Librarian: \u00a0“Happy Overdue Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Scientists: \u00a0“Happy Tried-and-True Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n

    Sightseer: \u00a0“Happy View Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Ghost: \u00a0“Happy Boo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Coach: \u00a0“Happy Follow-through Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Musician: \u00a0“Happy Kazoo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n

    Beautician: \u00a0“Happy Shampoo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Brewmaster: \u00a0“Happy Brew Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n

    Pool players: \u00a0“Happy Cue Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Seeker: \u00a0“Happy Pursue Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Detective: “Happy Clue Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n
    \n

    Teacher: \u00a0“Happy How-To Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    “Happy Who-Knew Year!”<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

    Priest: \u00a0“Happy Taboo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Artist: \u00a0“Happy Draw\/Drew Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n

    Party-goers: \u00a0“Happy Hullabaloo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Carpenter: \u00a0“Happy Nails-n-Screws Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n

    Aussie: \u00a0“Happy Kangaroo Year!<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Owl: \u00a0“Happy Too-whoo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

    \n

    Cowboy: \u00a0“Happy Yahoo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n

    Cow: \u00a0“Happy Moo Year!”<\/span><\/p>\n

    {Happy New, adaptation – p. 49}<\/p>\n

    All poems from EVERY THING ON IT – ISBN 978-0-06-199816-4<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Yes, I invented “trick or treat” so you could fill your mouth with sweets \u2013 Candy bars and lemon drops, marshmallows and Tootsie Pops, Butterscotch and bubble gum. \u00a0Hold out your hand \u2013 they’ll give you some Chocolate kisses, Jujubes, sour balls and jelly beans, Have a cake \u2013 some cookies, too. \u00a0Take a couple \u2013 grab a few Peppermint<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[15],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-569","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-v01-v15-vocabulary"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/569","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=569"}],"version-history":[{"count":18,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/569\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1166,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/569\/revisions\/1166"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=569"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=569"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wordsahead.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=569"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}